IG, you just convinced me. For a $10,000 retainer and $500 an hour, I'll start working to file your $100M defamation lawsuit against ESPN. Since I'll be billing hourly, you can keep all the damages awarded by the jury. I accept all major credit cards and invoice monthly. We can set your credit card up for automatic billing.
Just of curiosity, do you own any property . . .
Can I witness the jury selection of "We need to find 12 disgruntled white people who are tired of being called racist?" In addition to change of venue (to Mississippi), can you also file a motion for a change in decade (to the 1930s)?