intersting stat
- Thread starter echowaker
- Start date
One of my meetings with Roemer...
Me: to Roemer's secretary black haired 20-22 year old drop dead beauty... May be among the most beautiful women I've ever seen...Liz Hurley type...
"You're going to want to hear this one."
Roemer had a massive leather chair that you sat in in his reception area. It was meant to intimidate and make you feel small.... Her eyes rolled a bit as she gave me an "I have read the report and you're in huge trouble look."
Dean after about 3- 5 minutes from Behind his door, "C'mon in C......"
Dean: This is a bad one. The report says that last night you were on the south quad with a fire hose spraying it at students.
Me: Well that certainly sounds crazy.
Dean (sensing and praying that I have some sort of reasonable answer): Let me hear your side of it.
Background: During the first snow storm Morrissey often attacks Dillon in a snowball fight. This night was sub zero and wicked winds with snow flying sideways at times and accumulating big.
Me: Well Dean, apparently it's some sort of tradition for Morrissey to attack Dillon during the first snow storm.
Dean: Go on.
Me: Did the report say that over a dozen windows in Dillon were broken?
Dean: No. (He quickly dials security.) "How many windows were broken in Dillon last night?"
Pause:
Dean: "Fourteen!!??" (Dean is confused why this isn't in the report...my opening)
I knew the value of underselling.
Dean hangs up looks at me: "Go on".
Me: "Well we were all trying to study.... (Deans eyes roll) and all of a sudden windows were being shattered." (We had multiple force groups across the quad by the bookstore and others by the South Dining Hall. it wasn't enough as about 35-60 Morrissey guys had breached our front line and Dillon was being pelted.)
Dean: "Go on.'
Me: "Well I was sensing a real riot situation forming and knew that someone was going to get really hurt with the glass flying into rooms. I had seen riot control in NY and thought that the best way to disburse this crowd and diffuse the situation was with water."
That fire hose was awesome. As I ran through the front doors of Dillon my buddy was spinning the Brass ring to release more hose and he then turned it on. I was knocking guys off their feet and they were almost instantly freezing up. Morrissey was quickly in full retreat and Dillon's honor was preserved. It was like watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail, "Run Away..." (Huge ovation from fellow Dillonites)
The rest is some legendary stuff.
The dean's head basically hit his desk as I continued the story.
I left without punishment and the receptionist was smiling ear to ear and chuckling as she typed away...
PS My report back to Dillon was epic as everyone thought some major punishment was coming.
Dean told me to never do it again.... that was it. He was freaking awesome.... Thank God for broken windows and a poorly written report...
