Rules For Dwarf And Peasant Throwing
1. If a dwarf or peasant is thrown through a glass window or glass door,
he must wear gloves and a suitable mask.
2. If a dwarf or peasant is thrown through a burning hoop, extinguishers
must be provided.
3. If a dwarf or peasant is thrown down a well, the organizers must
ensure that the bottom of the well is dry, and is
covered by leaves to a depth of three inches.
4. If a dwarf or peasant is to be thrown across the path of an oncoming
train, the thrower must previously satisfy the organizers
that he bears no personal malice to the throwee.
5. If a dwarf or peasant is thrown into a pond or river, he must wear a
wetsuit and need not be tightly bound.
6. If dwarfs or peasants are thrown at night, they may be painted with
phosphorescent paint, so that the point of impact may be
clearly established.
7. If a dwarf or peasant refuses to be bound in the usual way before
throwing, he may be put in a straightjacket of the
requisite size.
8. If a dwarf or peasant makes any sound whatsoever, either in flight or
at the moment of impact, the throw will be disqualified.
9. If a jockey impersonates a dwarf or peasant, and wins a competition
because his light weight allows him to be thrown farthest,
he will be liable to a fine of $1000 or three years
imprisonment.
10. It is strictly forbidden, in dwarf/peasant-throwing literature and
publicity, to refer to dwarfs as persons of restricted
growth or 'small people'.
Just making some rules clear.
GO IRISH!!!
This post was edited on 2/22 1:35 AM by JElkins
1. If a dwarf or peasant is thrown through a glass window or glass door,
he must wear gloves and a suitable mask.
2. If a dwarf or peasant is thrown through a burning hoop, extinguishers
must be provided.
3. If a dwarf or peasant is thrown down a well, the organizers must
ensure that the bottom of the well is dry, and is
covered by leaves to a depth of three inches.
4. If a dwarf or peasant is to be thrown across the path of an oncoming
train, the thrower must previously satisfy the organizers
that he bears no personal malice to the throwee.
5. If a dwarf or peasant is thrown into a pond or river, he must wear a
wetsuit and need not be tightly bound.
6. If dwarfs or peasants are thrown at night, they may be painted with
phosphorescent paint, so that the point of impact may be
clearly established.
7. If a dwarf or peasant refuses to be bound in the usual way before
throwing, he may be put in a straightjacket of the
requisite size.
8. If a dwarf or peasant makes any sound whatsoever, either in flight or
at the moment of impact, the throw will be disqualified.
9. If a jockey impersonates a dwarf or peasant, and wins a competition
because his light weight allows him to be thrown farthest,
he will be liable to a fine of $1000 or three years
imprisonment.
10. It is strictly forbidden, in dwarf/peasant-throwing literature and
publicity, to refer to dwarfs as persons of restricted
growth or 'small people'.
Just making some rules clear.
GO IRISH!!!
This post was edited on 2/22 1:35 AM by JElkins
