Golson's FSU QB Starter Kit

[bernhtp]

Everett is apparently talking to Jimbo. I wonder what he can negotiate beyond the standard FSU QB Starter Kit, which includes:

1. A Marksman BB gun with 10,000 BBs for neighborhood fun.
2. An “I just forgot to pay” card for unlimited free crab legs and other otherwise expensive goods.
3. A megaphone for addressing students in the cafeteria to more effectively communicate what he would do to the girl.
4. An alibi witness for when an ungrateful bitch says it wasn’t consensual.
5. A stand-in student for whenever homework, tests and projects become burdensome.
6. A pre-written appeal that delays any disciplinary hearing until after leaving school for the NFL draft.
7. A special, but unofficial, jersey to be worn when serving a meaningless half-game suspension.
8. A fix-it number to call when the police don’t seem to understand.

Anything I'm missing here?

 

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