If I'm Brian Kelly I call everyone to take a knee. I then tell the trainers to toss me one of the new devices they have to monitor "physical activity/stress" that they place on random players to monitor fatigue. I'd then take out a sledge hammer and beat it to pieces right in front of them. Then I'd tell them that we are going to hit and tackle all week, the week after and the weeks following until they can prove they can do it. I'd relieve Brian Van Gorder of his defensive duties and assign him to special teams. I'd put everyone on notice that we are going to go as vanilla as you possibly can on defense and that the only people who are going to play are those who can play fundamentally sound football. No more stunts, shifts, or BS exotic stuff. You beat the person in front of you or I will play someone who can. I'd tell them first that I'm sorry for failing them by allowing the defensive concepts that we played this year but that going forward we are simply going to play football!! Id then tell them dispite our ineptness in scheme, that I'm embarrassed by some of the play that I've seen from them. I'd end it by telling them that the captains awarded preseason are no longer captains but that depending on their performance at practice will determine that each week due to our present circumstances. I'd end the meeting by telling the trainers to order extra ice and fire up the ice baths.