In my time being a Notre Dame fan, I have encountered a boatload of "haters" out there. What is a hater? A hater is someone who will stare objective data supporting Notre Dame straight in the face and laugh at it. This is not easily done. It is an acquired skill. Let me try and dissect how this is done, so that you can spot them and not waste your time engaging them.
Hater Step 1: Always talk about how overrated Notre Dame is. If Notre Dame is undefeated, talk about how weak their schedule is. If presented with data showing otherwise, question the validity of said data. If your team lost to Notre Dame recently, talk about how the refs screwed you. Or how you had a key player injured. Or how Notre Dame got blown out by a team that went on to win the National Championship. Make sure you mention how they play Navy or Army. It doesn't matter if those teams are good that year. Just say "you play military schools". Don't let them talk about the directional school your team played that is a division lower than your team. That isn't relevant. NOTRE DAME IS OVERRATED. ALWAYS!!!
Hater Step 2: Talk about how unfair it is they haven't joined a conference. Remember, playing in a conference is always harder than not, even if the strength of schedule says otherwise. Talk about how your conference "beats each other up". Also talk about how it isn't fair they don't have to play a conference championship. Don't let them point out that this is voluntary and conferences do it to make more money. If the ND fan talks about how they play top schools from all the conferences, say "Navy" or "Army". You can also talk about how the big name schools they played that year are really not any good, or how they are having a down year. Mention how bad they got beat when they played Alabama or Clemson. Remember, it doesn't matter if Alabama or Clemson beats everyone that bad, this is about Notre Dame.
Hater Step 3: Mock their academic standards. College is about football, not molding young men and women into future leaders or productive citizens. Talk about how they will never be good at football if they keep focusing on academics. This may feel wrong at first, but push through it. College is about football, first and foremost. They need to stop trying to be good at 2 things and this is your chance to correct them.
Hater Step 4: Talk about how irrelevant they are now. Reference how long it has been since they won a National Championship or won a Heisman Trophy. If they talk about how saying they are irrelevant is contradictory to your "overrated" argument, just say "Navy". If they talk about their recent run of good seasons, refer to the weak schedule and no conference arguments. NEVER admit that the fact that you are arguing about them being irrelevant actually proves they are relevant.
Hater Step 5: Make fun of Rudy and Manti Teo as much as possible. Now it may seem strange to make fun of a movie that everyone loves, but trust me, this must be done. Say "Rudy was offsides". That is funny. Also talk about Manti Teo's fake girlfriend. It is funny to make fun of naive college kids, especially if they are good, successful kids that don't get arrested or do drugs. Remember, the Manti Teo thing is much worse than the kid from your team that does drugs or beats women. Much worse. And Rudy was offsides. And Navy.
Hope this is helpful to you all. Happy Bowl Season and Go Irish!
Hater Step 1: Always talk about how overrated Notre Dame is. If Notre Dame is undefeated, talk about how weak their schedule is. If presented with data showing otherwise, question the validity of said data. If your team lost to Notre Dame recently, talk about how the refs screwed you. Or how you had a key player injured. Or how Notre Dame got blown out by a team that went on to win the National Championship. Make sure you mention how they play Navy or Army. It doesn't matter if those teams are good that year. Just say "you play military schools". Don't let them talk about the directional school your team played that is a division lower than your team. That isn't relevant. NOTRE DAME IS OVERRATED. ALWAYS!!!
Hater Step 2: Talk about how unfair it is they haven't joined a conference. Remember, playing in a conference is always harder than not, even if the strength of schedule says otherwise. Talk about how your conference "beats each other up". Also talk about how it isn't fair they don't have to play a conference championship. Don't let them point out that this is voluntary and conferences do it to make more money. If the ND fan talks about how they play top schools from all the conferences, say "Navy" or "Army". You can also talk about how the big name schools they played that year are really not any good, or how they are having a down year. Mention how bad they got beat when they played Alabama or Clemson. Remember, it doesn't matter if Alabama or Clemson beats everyone that bad, this is about Notre Dame.
Hater Step 3: Mock their academic standards. College is about football, not molding young men and women into future leaders or productive citizens. Talk about how they will never be good at football if they keep focusing on academics. This may feel wrong at first, but push through it. College is about football, first and foremost. They need to stop trying to be good at 2 things and this is your chance to correct them.
Hater Step 4: Talk about how irrelevant they are now. Reference how long it has been since they won a National Championship or won a Heisman Trophy. If they talk about how saying they are irrelevant is contradictory to your "overrated" argument, just say "Navy". If they talk about their recent run of good seasons, refer to the weak schedule and no conference arguments. NEVER admit that the fact that you are arguing about them being irrelevant actually proves they are relevant.
Hater Step 5: Make fun of Rudy and Manti Teo as much as possible. Now it may seem strange to make fun of a movie that everyone loves, but trust me, this must be done. Say "Rudy was offsides". That is funny. Also talk about Manti Teo's fake girlfriend. It is funny to make fun of naive college kids, especially if they are good, successful kids that don't get arrested or do drugs. Remember, the Manti Teo thing is much worse than the kid from your team that does drugs or beats women. Much worse. And Rudy was offsides. And Navy.
Hope this is helpful to you all. Happy Bowl Season and Go Irish!
