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Board confession: Commander/prime minister Bodi I would like to confess

cgvr

I've posted how many times?
Jun 25, 2010
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my sins of today and will accept my punishment as you are fair, wise and most holy.

"Bless me bodi for I have sinned and this is my first confession. Today I said that weis smelled like a dirty sneaker and referred to him as lard. I also expressed misgivings about our current coach. Lastly, I daydreamed of shooting Cecil with a bazooka while he was in his den. For these and all of my sins I am sorry."
 
my sins of today and will accept my punishment as you are fair, wise and most holy.

"Bless me bodi for I have sinned and this is my first confession. Today I said that weis smelled like a dirty sneaker and referred to him as lard. I also expressed misgivings about our current coach. Lastly, I daydreamed of shooting Cecil with a bazooka while he was in his den. For these and all of my sins I am sorry."

There is no hope for you and your blackheart, St, Peter has explicit directions not to open the gate for you. Carry on my wayward son.
 
I too must confess. I had urges to tell the Pope his hat is too big, share a "atomic sundae" with CW, bait Kelly out of his house with an eclair..and then trap him in a cardboard box, trick BVG into thinking I was playing defense by trying to arm-tackle his wife in the Wal-Mart parking lot, and trying to convince Tommy Rees that he can still outrun the police.
 
I too must confess. I had urges to tell the Pope his hat is too big, share a "atomic sundae" with CW, bait Kelly out of his house with an eclair..and then trap him in a cardboard box, trick BVG into thinking I was playing defense by trying to arm-tackle his wife in the Wal-Mart parking lot, and trying to convince Tommy Rees that he can still outrun the police.
Now this is ****ing funny! ! !
 
There is no hope for you and your blackheart, St, Peter has explicit directions not to open the gate for you. Carry on my wayward son.

That would be "Braveheart". My ancestors/clan joined Robert the Bruce at the "Battle of Bannockburn 1314".

I'd like a word with St. Peter. Like many here on kelly there was a time that St. Pete was in denial....
Crap. Is that another sin?

Rembrandt_Harmensz._van_Rijn_012.jpg
 
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There is no hope for you and your blackheart, St, Peter has explicit directions not to open the gate for you. Carry on my wayward son.

"Bless me bodi for I have sinned and this is my second confession. Today I defended Jim Harbaugh on an ND board. Also, I daydreamed of chasing Cecil through the Congo in an M1 Abrams tank. Lastly, what have you done to pant_load? You must have given him some penance. He disappeared."
 
There is no hope for you and your blackheart, St, Peter has explicit directions not to open the gate for you. Carry on my wayward son.

"Bless me Bodi for I have sinned it's been 1 day since my last confession. Today wasn't bad, but I did challenge the worthiness of kelly's D2 championships. Not one poster can recall either of the games, players, opponents...nothing. I found that odd for such an incredible accomplishment. Interestingly, Chuck Martin accomplished in 2 years at gvsu what it took kelly 13 years to do. Go figure. Plus, Martin's winning percentage is .91 and change vs kelly's .76. Sadly, when I looked at gvsu's bowl record there wasn't one..... I personally hold his win versus CW Post in his first NC run in high regard. Half that post team was stoned and the other half was stoned and bombed. They recently asked a PE teacher to be the head football coach and he replied, "I didn't know we had a team." They were last seen on the team bus on the LIE looking like the Chariot in "History of the World".

As for the second NC that's a little dicey. I mean losing to saginaw state during the season was a gut punch much like Clark Griswald getting subscribed to the "Jelly of the Month" club. My favorite win that year is tough to decide.... It's down to 4 Northwood, Mercyhurst, Findlay or Bentley. I can't decide since I've never heard of any of them. The championship games' attendance were both under 10K which is about the size of a crappy Texas HS team crowd on a Friday night. I heard that Jeff Lurie excused himself and never returned when kelly brought these "accomplishments" up during his Eagles interview. "
 
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"Bless me Bodi for I have sinned it's been 1 day since my last confession. Today wasn't bad, but I did challenge the worthiness of kelly's D2 championships. Not one poster can recall either of the games, players, opponents...nothing. I found that odd for such an incredible accomplishment. Interestingly, Chuck Martin accomplished in 2 years at gvsu what it took kelly 13 years to do. Go figure. Plus, Martin's winning percentage is .91 and change vs kelly's .76. Sadly, when I looked at gvsu's bowl record there wasn't one..... I personally hold his win versus CW Post in his first NC run in high regard. Half that post team was stoned and the other half was stoned and bombed. They recently asked PE teacher to be the head football coach and he replied, "I didn't know we had a team." They were last seen on the team bus on the LIE looking like the Chariot in "History of the World".

As for the second NC that's a little dicey. I mean losing to saginaw state during the season was a gut punch much like Clark Griswald getting subscribed to the "Jelly of the Month" club. My favorite win that year is tough to decide.... It's down to 4 Northwood, Mercyhurst, Findlay or Bentley. I can't decide since I've never heard of any of them. The championship games' attendance were both under 10K which is about the size of a crappy Texas HS team crowd on a Friday night. I heard that Jeff Lurie excused himself and never returned when kelly brought these "accomplishments" up during his Eagles interview. "

Say ten Hail Mary's and don't talk bad about Coach Kelly anymore. (or Cecil).
 
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Say ten Hail Mary's and don't talk bad about Coach Kelly anymore. (or Cecil).

Some of the better humor ever read here - better than Seinfield or Larry David banter - very good - my 14 year old son wants to know why i'm laughing at my computer.

(my confession - I dreamed of a lion attacking that spineless cowardly white toothed dentist someday - not killing him - just a good mauling)
 
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I was just about to post something really funny and stopped. I don't know if I can do this....

I am glad you refrained. Most people don't think drowning little baby kittens and throwing elderly people down stairs is humorous.
Keep wearing the mask of Righteousness and in time it will become your face, I am proud of you my son for trying.
 
I am glad you refrained. Most people don't think drowning little baby kittens and throwing elderly people down stairs is humorous.
Keep wearing the mask of Righteousness and in time it will become your face, I am proud of you my son for trying.

I have been meditating over Aquinas and Ecclesiastes for almost 2 days and I believe I have found a righteous calling. I am going to raise money by selling bumper stickers and send it to Africa.
They will read, "Kill a lion, save a pygmy".
 
I have been meditating over Aquinas and Ecclesiastes for almost 2 days and I believe I have found a righteous calling. I am going to raise money by selling bumper stickers and send it to Africa.
They will read, "Kill a lion, save a pygmy".

Pygmies have coexisted with Lions for a very long time. They respect the Lion and despise evil poachers like you and the Dentist.
 
Pygmies have coexisted with Lions for a very long time. They respect the Lion and despise evil poachers like you and the Dentist.


Unfortunately, do to their diminutive size, their protests go unheard. Recently Kip, of Napolean Dynamite fame, brought some pygmy representatives to the UN to let the world know about how lions are attacking their young. While in NY they posed for this picture in Central Park. I'm conflicted by all this and it appears that you care not for the wee people.

d646011a2698b76857bc59e91f322689.jpg
 
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Unfortunately, do to their diminutive size, their protests go unheard. Recently Kip, of Napolean Dynamite fame, brought some pygmy representatives to the UN to let the world know about how lions are attacking their young. While in NY they posed for this picture in Central Park. I'm conflicted by all this and it appears that you care not for the wee people.

d646011a2698b76857bc59e91f322689.jpg

I do care for the pygmies. Especially the ones that shoot poachers with poisoned blow darts.
 
my sins of today and will accept my punishment as you are fair, wise and most holy.

"Bless me bodi for I have sinned and this is my first confession. Today I said that weis smelled like a dirty sneaker and referred to him as lard. I also expressed misgivings about our current coach. Lastly, I daydreamed of shooting Cecil with a bazooka while he was in his den. For these and all of my sins I am sorry."
I confess ! I have sinned !!! I swore directly at Brian Kelly for his two point conversion attempts during the 2014 Northwestern game, the 2015 Clemson game, and the 2015 Stanford game !! And I threw a beer at my neighbors porch during the 2011 Michigan game after the epic last second defensive collapse !! Please forgive me !!
With that said I still think Coach Kelly is great and will coach the Irish to a National Championship in 2016 !!!
1394659442000-IA01-MELTDOWN-SWAGGART-07.jpg
 
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I confess ! I have sinned !!! I swore directly at Brian Kelly for his two point conversion attempts during the 2014 Northwestern game, the 2015 Clemson game, and the 2015 Stanford game !! And I threw a beer at my neighbors porch during the 2011 Michigan game after the epic last second defensive collapse !! Please forgive me !!
With that said I still think Coach Kelly is great and will coach the Irish to a National Championship in 2016 !!!
1394659442000-IA01-MELTDOWN-SWAGGART-07.jpg

There is no need to apologize for throwing a beer at your neighbor's porch. Apologize for not throwing 2.....
 
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